I Tell it Like it is.

Greetings from WestChester,

Well another summer has come and gone and the JO’s are busy
training for what hopefully will various "break out" weekends for the retards that make multiple journeys to Lewisburg, much like the Muslims to Mecca.
The schedule is tough once again
featuring Late-Night Honey Bear Sessions, High Life farts, watery poo, and none other than Division 3 National Championship of Caspering, and the big Vericose-Vein filled Cow Ball Weigh-Off, sponsored by Bechtals.

The out of conference schedule features outstanding events such as
Knoebles Knocking that Rich Bitch down a Peg-a-Thon, the PAC conference Tournament of Smokings, The Sheetz Shot to the Ball Bag Rally, The Weiss Markets Dick in Wax 400, The Degenstien PopCorn Horseface All Star Challenge, and Polyester Edition 2nd First Annual Touch Dively’s Sink CrabWalk-Swim.

New Events to the 03-04 schedule include Selinsgrove Center’s Big Red Retard Bat Modified Home Run Derby, and the Dunkin Donuts Vs Becthals underage Wet T Shirt Contest. Also on the schedule is the
infamous "Battle of the Whore" match with nearby rival Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers. Dively has has won the match in both years of it's existence by sucking down a fat-laden triple and looks to make it 3 in a row on any given Sunday.




Season Outlook

After a longest recorded respite during the busy summer months of July and August, the 2003 “JO Board Members” will
accept nothing less than a berth in the Commonwealth Conference Playoffs of Making others Around Us Extremely Uncomfortable and
getting someone extremely hurt during a drunk event.
The return of 4 Key players who started played in at least 13 games give head coach Caitlyn “Hulk Hands” Findlay a group of veteran players who have seen significant action on the
battlefield during their illustrious careers.
Last season, the JO Board Members smoked each other in conference games and stood
Immensely immature overall before dropping their loads in Ocean City, each getting hit with a disastrous 24 hour Diarreha Bout that single handily picked off each played for one night.

The Board’s strength in 2003-04 should lie in its veteran mindblowing, with all
four projected starters having at least one full season of being a complete asshole under their belt along with one Scary-Ass reserve from Misericordia.
2 year starter, Captain Justin Dively (Selinsgrove, PA/”Seal”insgrove H.S. will be the one of the key D*ckBags as he enters his Third season as a Boardmember.
A second-team All-C*ckSucker selection last season, Justin appeared in 12
events last year after some early-season injury concerns such as dating a 15 year old Fat Pig who enjoyed ShotPutting In Cammo sidelined him for a portion of the year. In the contests that he did appear in, Justin Thrashed most of his competition. Justin’s ability to fire a greasy-ass triple down his throat, often times gave him the upper hand during the past few “Battle of the Whore” galas. His devotion to his board members was briefly questioned as decided to have responsibilities and lead a bunch of little U-12 F*cks to a state Soccer Championship game that the opposing team did not even show up for. Good job AHOLE. J-Dives (as his friends never call him) came back with a vengeance, as he become “The One” in a memorable showing in Ocean City during the “Boff at the Beach” the week of July 20th. Justin was able to drown out the loud and often arrogant heckling ORIOLE (It was an Oriole) in his way to Winning the Weekend.
Justin’s utterly belligerent rants and unknown offering of a room to “Rub Out” in gives the early season advantage of being a fan favorite.

In his 2nd year as a starting member of the Board, Jaime Kahler (FightsBoro NY, Fightsboro High School), posted 15-1 record and a 1.73 Jews against
average in 16 starts last year. Jaime and his yellow hunting aviators recorded three shutouts during the
season, including the Creation of The Cindy Rowe Popcorn Horseface Bots Faceoff of the Century.” Jaime was just as powerful on the road in Ocean City when he used his JO “Mind Trickery” to will a pickup operated by two most likely intoxicated Mexicans to practically run the F over Cell Phone Guy. A feat of such strength has not been seen since the birth of PopCorn Horseface.
Jamie has many hats on the board, two being for rallying the troops, and most importantly for being an unbiased judge of events and character. None better seen as his pivotal role in the inaugural edition of “Dick in Wax”. His Keen eye and masterful grasp of Geometry played the angles which eventually awarded the $5 lunch to the rightful winner.
Just as every Gladiator has his day in the dumps, James has seen the low points during the past season. A supposed “Accident” almost took the life of this young JO, as he smiled and gave death the middle finger. This tragic night left this savvy veteran paralyzed from the neck down for a brief period, which he used to his advantage to get back with the girl that he loves. Once the feeling came back in his lower extremities, we were let into the psyche of a madman:
James, during an interview Bob Costas for the Daily Item:
“I must say, I would like to thank God almighty for willing me to not only walk, but to give me the one love of my life back. Rachel, when I heard your voice over the phone that night, my heart pounded and gave me the strength to move my legs and arms. I love you, you filthy Jew.”
Well Played, James.

17th Year Senior Josh Steffen (Selinsgrove, PA/”Seal”insgrove HS) will serve as the guardian of the Hooka for his 3rd straight year. This physical education specialist has deep roots with the JO, as it took him more time to graduate with a 4 year bachelors degree than it takes most pupils to finish K-12.
Josh’s mid-year participation last year in Dick in Wax set the precedence for this upcoming season. The fans are expecting a good deal from this dedicated journeyman, and the analysts feel that this is the time to deliver. Many feel he is in the twilight of his career, but according to Steffen “My Head is like a Shark Fin”. Who can argue with that bold statement?
Last season for Joshua was a tough one, littered with disappointments and downfalls. He made various starts, but often faltered with the tough competition of Nora and Jamie. The game is all weekend, and there are no half times or time outs at this level.
Perhaps the main highlight of last year came in a tragic smoking game that turned violent in one short sentence. In a unprecedented move, fellow competitor, John Steigerwald tweaked the rules and asked for “Smoking, but hold the Jump”. Josh delivered the “Smoking Heard ‘Round the World”, a Ronnie Lot-esq shoulderbarge, that almost ended one career, but jumped started another. The Taco Bell Touch Dively’s sink was also a springboard for Josh’s career as he held the world record for about 38 seconds. Much is expected out of this veteran in possibly one of his last good years??????? These questions will soon be Emphatically Answered in the spotlight of the world.

Rounding out the four starters for the board is John Steigerwald (Toms River, NJ/Monsignor Donovan High School). The JO runs deep through the veins of this wily hellcat, as he is a second-generation boardmember. Before a league was even created, his father was sowing the seeds that make millions of children strive for the stardom that John has in the palm of his hand. Last year was a shining year for this player, as his style blossomed from anger filled to mischievous.
John Paced the Board with stunning performances, most notably his world-record setting time in Taco Bell Touch Dively’s Sink, being the Reigning World Chamption in Steinigger’s Dryclearing Dix in Wax Championship, and lastly, requesting to get smoked on a dead sprint, without jumping, which was unheard of at the time. His love for the game and desire to teach others is unmatched.

Filling out the board is a long time reserve, who is quite possibly one of the scariest, most bizarre human beings in the world. His place as a boardmamber will never be solidified, yet his creepiness will get him the call up from the minors from time to time. Ed "T-Real" Brennen (Selinsgrove, PA/ "Seal"insgrove H.S.) is a second hear JO who is mainly a utility player off the bench. His heart and dedication is never questioned, but his playing style is not well accepted throughout the Conference. T-Real's moment in the sun was marred by perversion and disgust, as he willingly accepted a "Sloppy Second" after watching the main course unfold before his very eyes. The T-Real playing style follows that of Bill Laimbeer, a true warrior that often times is understandably misunderstood. Management will not disagree that he does indeed get the job done, but there is one important question that we must ask: "At what cost?"

New Stadium
This fall season will be the first to be played on the 4th Street Playing Fields. Although the Hallowed grounds at South 8th Street will remain deeply within our hearts, the new facility will prove to be ground-breaking. The playing surface will be a new synthetic carpet installation,
And the ceiling made of state of the art tile/wood combination that will not pour water onto the kitchen floor into ghetto ass pots. The project also will include ample Christmas lighting, the same old sucky ass couches and plenty of Ketchup left out on the floor. Although the new facility is astonishing, it is the spectacular play on the inside of the new abode that will make the facility the talk of the conference.


Fundraising
With budgets not always able to support the needs of two kegs for 3 people on a Saturday, we are asking for parents, alums and friends of the Boardmembers to offer any ideas they may have to help with raising funds to support the JO BoardMembers.

In the meantime, our finance department has come up with the Program of “I Ain’t Givin’ Shit”. Here is how it works:

Incentives
You Owe me Wendy’s Pledge and above – A punch in the teeth
40 of Cammo Pledge and above - FU
Sixer of Zima Pledge and above – Lotion Topless HJ
An “I ain’t Givin’ no F’n Money Pledge- receive and Adidas Warm - up Jacket

Thank you for support.
Looking forward to seeing most of you during the fall season, whether it is in Lewisburg or at a Smoking near you. Please pass this email onto your parents/family and any former players that you think would be interested in following and supporting the JO BoardMember Season.


FU

John

John M. Steigerwald
Player / Publisist
300 South Church Street
Apartment C
WestChester, PA 19382


'Twas the Night Before Memorial Day"
‘Twas the night before Memorial Day, when all through the pad.
We all ate Wendy’s and the living room smelt bad.

The Ketchup was out for hours on end,
Don’t fall asleep, or you’ll get Caspered my Friend

All of us were passed out in our beds,
While visions of Highlife danced in our heads.

Wearing a 70’s T and his Peiche with no rap,
Stef just settled down with some pig’s ass to dun tap.

When behind the bar there was such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the bar I tore like a the flash,
Jumped up on the stadium seating and threw up the sash.
The Moon on the breast of the honey bear filled with nice buds,
Kahler and some fireworks, they did not light, all duds.

When, what to my glazed over eyes should appear
Kahler looked at me, he had an idea.
With a crafty veteran wink, and a dash so quick,
I knew that his idea involved wax and a dick

There are a few things that I have learned over my lifetime...

Pizza is good
Beer is better
I am slow
I should not eat anything greasy
I like touching my own wang
Tits are awesome
Running over 1 mile without chasing something blows
Having someone else touch my wang is better
White guys cannot jump
Giant black guys on the Georgetown Basketball team all wear giant T-Shirts

Just to speak to the last point a bit... I was flipping through the channels the other night and thought it was funny that Patrick Ewing, Jr was shooting a free throw and sweating like Patrick Ewing, Sr. shooting a free throw. It was quite entertaining. The thing that really caught my eye was the fact that his 7-2 teammate, Roy Hibbert, was wearing the biggest grey t-shirt that I have ever seen. Just like those ones that you would expect to see on a black guy in a Newcastle Delaware 7-11 driving a pimped out Ecalade. The shoulder seams on this thing were halfway down his arms. Now I am not the most gifted althelete in the world, but I know when I am running around and sweating like a teammate's dad, I want as little fabric sticking to me as possible without flaunting how nice my man tits are (you are jealous). Take a look at some of these pics of past G-Town big men:

Roy Hibbert (Not only is this guy gigantic, but if he fingers a 5-2 girl, he would be tickling the roof of her mouth)


Alonzo Mourning (bad picture, but you can get the point)


Patrick Ewing and John Thomson getting ready to 69


I could not find any good shots of Alonzo Mourning, but I am 99% sure that he also went with the grey t-shirt thing too... Try to take notice of the basketball players that wear t-shirts. NO ONE DOES EXCEPT BIG BLACK DUDES FROM G-TOWN.

The other thing about Georgetown is that I always thought it was a garbage school when I was younger because all the basketball hoodlums that went there. Watching college sports growing up honestly made me believe that the Men Hoyas represented the entire school. I guess that I did not realize that every black guy at Georgetown played basketball....


Just for the record, I also found these pictures when I searched "Georgetown Centers":

It has been about 1 year since Leroy the snowman died on my front lawn and I feel that there is no better time than now to start up the palace again. I would like to start out with our asshole "Condo Neighbors" who have no regard for anyone but themselves. Actually, the more that I think about it, they have no regard for anything - including themselves. They basically suck dick. This whole abortion started about the 2nd f'ing day that we lived here. See... the issue is that our parking spatch is the only one in its row and all the JO's that our neighbors invite over are too huge of illiterate knobs to realize that two yellow lines and a big ass #42 on the ground means "this is for residents only, dick face". By the end of the first week, we had people parking in our spatch left and right. Eventually enough was enough and I had to do something about it. When a note on the windshield did not work, the two inch drywall screws came out and were wedged underneath tires. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to kill anyone, but if people have to get extremely inconvenienced, hey, I am all for that. I figure that the tire goes flat very slowly and if the JO that parks in my spatch gets a flat on I-95 at 7:30 am, we are even... Even for him parking in my spot and being a pain in my ass because I have to walk an extra 13 feet to my front door - It is my spot, damnit. I figure that it is better than shooting people in a shopping mall - right?
Anyway, the dog that these neighbors have loves to poop in our yard. No big deal, I poop all the time, but at least I flush it. The JO walking the dog should either train it to poop on the can or pick up the load with a baggie. I have been meaning to speak to these "neighbors", but have not had the chance to run into them. I get up this morning and notice a penis sized tootsie roll steaming in my back yard. The initial reaction was to drop trow and lay a big human dump on their back porch (could you imagine picking up a human dump with a baggie on your hand), but that was over the top (it may not be in a week or two). I also thought about tossing the poo back into their yard (as I did earlier this week), but simply said something to the guy later in the day... of course, he blamed his roommate, but the poo was gone later today...
This brings me to my main point that people are generally assholes. Is it just me, or am I the only one that sees that pretty much all of humanity should be put down like a hobbled horse behind a shed? Barbaro needed to go down mid August, so stop it. There are about 10 dickhead moves that I can think of right off the top of my head that piss everyone off... These are only two, but more will be coming in the next few days.
1. The guy that parks right next to your driver side door so you cannot get into your car (my famous "No, I have to call you a F**king A**hole because you are a F**king A**hole"
2. The big fat slob twat that that walks into work smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk with two 45lb. airport luggage suitcases in each meat hook that only opens up 1/2 foot of space to walk around her. Pick a side you beast - go left or right so I can get around you. Either that or slap some vasoline between your tighs I don't hear velco ripping apart each time your legs rup together. Most likey this retard also has a handicapped tag because she is too hungy to stop eating McDonalds.

The best part about this picture is that I am 78% sure this tank ordered the "El Higante Mexican Fiesta Burrito" today in the cafe - and I got stuck behind her and her lesbo friend in the hallway. God, I love life.

Well, it snowed. More than a little. It snowed a ton. And thank God it was on a Saturday. I remember being a kid when it would snow, praying that it would be on a schoolnight, hoping that school would be cancelled. What a selfish little bastard I was. Little did I know that when I did not go to school, I was also wishing that accidents happened and that people would have to wake up 40 minutes earlier to de-ice the car. What an ahole I was. I still wish awful things on people, but when other's misfortunes have a direct impact on making me miserable, I hate it. All that aside, I can deal with the snow on a Saturday. I even made a snowman, because after we got done shoveling, I figured that I had to enjoy the weather somehow.

His name is Leroy, and he is white trash. Leroy is smiling now, but that is only because he just watched Arena League Football while drinking a 12er of Natural Light on a beatiful Sunday Afternoon. His wife f'ed up the Eggs and Scrapple this morning, so he beat her with his belt in the back bedroom of the RV.


Anway, some comments about the SuperBowl, which ultimately sucked. I lost the following bets:
Coin Toss
Seahawks +4.5
the Under of 2.5 different players making a passing attempt (f you Ranel El)
About $75 of those stupid block / end of the quarter score things. I don't know why I do them. Every year some retard that I hate at work always wins the money. The best part about those block bets is when you over hear someone say on Monday- "Oh, hey Bob, you won the 1st quarter!", and this slap ass acts like he did not know that he won. "Oh, I did? I did not even notice.". F You Bob. Nice stache.
I pushed the Chelsea / Liverpool combined score +1 compared to TD's by the Steelers. Yes, you can bet on that.
I actually think that I wagered on "Will Ben Rothlinsberger use Over / Under 2 Wet Hiney Wipes to clean up after his pregame dump". You really can bet on anything during that game.

The ads were subpar at best. Of course, Ted Ferguson the Budlight Daredevil was on the top of my list. The loser that came up with those ads is a genius. I use the word loser because the creator had to be some shlub who was all hammered up on a Saturday night, playing online poker at 4 am, and flipped to EBaums world and saw some a-hole take his nephew's hotwheels over a kiddie pool filled with diarreah. That creator could have been any of us. "Put that on my review."
Another great ad was the Career Builder / Monkey Ads. Monkeys sell products, midgets sell products. If you could find a monkey midget, I would buy the stock. Enough said.

As for this past weekend itself, Michelle and I relaxed inside, where we watched an assload of movies. We started on Saturday night with "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" - Good movie, I actually really enjoyed it. Angelina Jolie may have the best body in the world. Add the fact that she is Pyscho - Ehhhhhhhhh. After that, we continued to "House of the Dead 2", starring none other than Sticky Fingaz of Onyx fame. This movie was like passing a kidney stone the size of a beer bottle. I loved it. The fact that I actually thought that it was better than the first House of the Dead says two things. I saw the first one and actually enjoyed the sequal more. Go figure.
We finished up with "Ringu"... the orignal, Jap version of the Ring. Better than the US Version, but I wish that wet ghost bitch would have crawled out of my TV during "House of the Dead 2" and killed me. Nothing much more than that to report. Same old same old here in West Chester.
By the way, two weeks until the best weekend EVER.

Boys,

So little time, so much fucking space to write about what has happened over the past few weeks. Now that the chunks of popcorn have been flossed from this website, we can get down to being real jerkoffs.
Where to begin. It has been so long. Let's see... I bought a hamster for Michelle, we named it Sniffy, Michelle and I loved the little f'er, and guess what, it is now buried in the backyard. It got wettail... which is a lame excuse of a disease. I have wettail every time I eat wings. Anyway, we took it to the vet, and that bitch gave us medicine.... that is right, medicine. I had to force feed it medicine twice a day. I actually had to pick up a hamster and feed it medicine 2 time a day. I felt like a serial rapist picking up a innocent 18 year old in my A-Team van and having my ways with her. Sniffy fought me tooth and nail during each session. It was unreal.

Sniffy - RIP Motha F'a.

Since then I have been to Lancaster for New Year's Eve - A quick transcript:
Cop to me as we are walking off of Alex Henry's deck:
Hey, are those beers in those cans?
Me to Cop:
Uh, No, Officer.
Cop To me:
Then what are they?
Me to Cop:
Beers.
That is about the way that the night went. I drank a ton of Jack and spoke to my lesbian aunt as Dick Clark spit and shook through the "Rockin New Years Eve" like an old school electronic vibrating football player busting through the secondary. Needless to say, the next day I found out that I had leather boots on during a Kareoke of "I Will Survive" while danicing on a cocktail table.
Fast forward to last weekend... We saw Mo Cheeks in the London Bar in Philly. He had about 3 ginny daego guys with him that drank nothing but white wine. Way to sit Korver on "Kyle Bobble Head Night".
We started off the next night with some 22 oz Lager Bottles. Bad News written all over that. By the time we got to Jakes, I would have banged Steff. I only say this because it is proven that he can take it real nice.




That night was a complete debacle as we were drinking heavily at Jakes (as it usually is). Shuffle Board was an abortion. Some JO thought that he could play all night. Uh, no. After I got done pushing the Blue Sciore to 21, I proceeded to throw the bird right into this JO's Face. This was a result of me feeling huge because Lebrec was right behind me. It is amazing how big you feel when a d-1 football player has your back.
Sooooo, Michelle is in B-More tonight, and I have drank a 12er of Guinness and a healthy amount of Jack Daniels. I also have about $150 on the game tomorrow. Go Steelers (by less than 4.5).

Do you want to get Jacked Up and kick everyone's ass? I know that you want to have monster ass 98 inch pythons and a 12 inch waist. If you want to be able to lift a big sickle without even breaking a sweat, then you have to get yourself some Russian Bear.

I am not sure if you all remember the old school Russian Bear ads that used to be on at 4 am, but we got talking about the Bear and Joe Wieder at work this afternoon. My question is who would win in an armwrestling contest?.... I am going to have to go with neither, because they each would rip the other guy's arm off and beat him with it.

We decided here at work to take some time out of the hectic day and look into how much the Russia Bear costs these days. It is only about $32 per tub, but I guess that you cannot really put a price on having guns that can stop traffic. The great thing is that this is actually 100% better than eating food or taking vitamins... Some of the nutritional information is below:

High Performance Anabolics, Vitamins - Antioxidants: Beta-Carotene (provitamin A) - 25000iu**
Vitamin D-3 - 1000iu - 250%
Vitamin C - 2000mg - 336%
Natural Vitamin E - 600iu - 2000%
Vitamin B-1 - 150mg - 1000%
Vitamin B-2 - 150mg - 8824%
Vitamin B-6 - 150mg - 7500%
Vitamin B-12 - 300mcg - 5000%
Niacin - Niacinamide - 150mg - 750%
Pantothenic Acid - 300mg - 3000%
Folic Acid - 400mcg - 100%
Biotin - 300mcg - 100%, PABA - 20mg**
Maximum Performance Anabolics: Leucine - 1000mg, Isoleucine - 1000mg, Valine - 1000mg, Orchic (testes) Concentrate - 1200mg, Thymus Concentrate - 200mg, Adrenal Concentrate - 200mg, Pancreases Concentrate - 100mg, Pituitary concentrate - 100mg, Anterior Lobe Pituitary Concentrate - 100mg, Hypothalamus Concentrate - 100mg, Biologically Active Boosters - Anabolic Sterols: Gamma Oryzonol - 100mg, Smilax Officianalis - 100mg, Beta Sitosterol - 50mg, Stigmasterol - 50mg, Fucosterol - 50mg, Campesterol - 50mg, Saw Palmetto - 50mg,

And now for the best part... these are actual testimonials from a web site:
"Wow! It's incredible. I gained over 40 lbs. of rock hard muscle
— so fast it blew my mind."

"My muscles felt like they were exploding with
Awesome Growth everyday. With every rep, my pump was awesome.
Every time I hit the scale, I was gaining muscle!" says Val Vasilef, winner of more than 80 physique, power and weight lifting awards, including Mr. America.

Who does not need 430% the vitamin B12? I know that I sure do. Could you imagine the bowel movements that you would have after taking this stuff? It would be like a crapping out a lawn gnome. Who cares if your organs will solidify when you can pop someone's head like a grape? I think that is a pretty fair trade off. The crazy thing is that people will put this stuff into their bodies. Acutally, if you want to get jacked and look like me, that is really the only way to do it. Not everyone has my superior genes.

Last weekend Michelle and I had the opportunity to see the Red Sox play the O's down at Camden Yards. The evening was filled with Beer (we ran up an $80 tab before the game) Pretzels, and most importantly, Meat Dogs. I know that you can't beat Boston Street Meat, but we stumbled across a 7-11 that was stocked to the gills with Cheeseburger Meat Dogs. These things are the balls. The balls, I tell you. The funny thing about these processed shit canners is that I know that they are not very good for me, I know that they smell like Big Foot's Dick, I know that they will give me man titties, I know that I will have a leaky anus the next day, I know that I will have stomach pains, but God Damnit... they are DELICIOUS when you are hammered.

As you can see by the picture, not only did I get a Cheeseburger Meat Dog, I hammered it with Pickles, Nacho Cheese, Mustard, and Ketchup. F'in party time if you ask me. I have eaten some bad shit in my day and let me confirm that I pay for it every time. Living in Theta was one of the worst things that my digestive system could have ever endured. Hot Ham and Cheese, Whoppers 2x's a week? I mean come on, Pizza Bites were a major food group. On a daily basis I would roll up my sleeves and fish hard-boiled eggs out of bile colored water in a mason's bucket with my bare hands 10 minutes after "Honkering Down" (see, that phrase is the best) in the bathroom. God knows where my hands have been, nonetheless 30 other guys. I am still taking Immodium rectally because they don't work going north to south any more.

I also found this litte gem today on CNN.com...
According to the Times, when faced with accusations that hamburgers
were inimical to the country's diet, Den Fujita, the first McDonald's Japan
president, declared: "The reason Japanese people are so short and have
yellow skins is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for 2,000
years. If we eat McDonald's hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we
will become taller, our skin become white and our hair blond."

That is right, McD's gives me 'rreah and and makes the Japanese look like Americans. I like the quote of "Our Skin become white and our hair blond." You wan Pok Fied Wice?

In the wake of Rita and Katrina, I would like to observe a few separate issues about these unreal natural disasters:

- I have no problem with people looting for food.
- I do have a problem with people looting for Duece McAllister jerseys

The pictures that I have seen from these two whore-bag storms have been amazing. The Superdome was full of people, which coincidentally is the first time that that place has been full during a Saints football season in quite some time. Houses demolished, gangs wandering the city like "Escape From NY"... I could not imagine what it would be like wading through poopy and pissy water while away from the Jersey Shore beaches. Amazing.

Living in the Northeast, I can pretty much say that our weather is pretty lame. We occasionally have a snowstorm that drops a few inches, which causes the whole damn world to stop. People rush to the grocery store and buy up every loaf of bread and gallon of water that they can find. Do all of these a-holes really think a snowfall that I can measure with my Pieche is going to cause anyone to be hunkered down (that is my favorite phrase from the past two hurricanes) in their homes for weeks? Come on, get a grip. By the way, "Hunkered Down" is the best thing to come out of these two storms. I am trying to use it every day... "I am going to Hunker Down on the couch", 'If you need me, I will be Hunkered Down in the Handicapped Stall reading the Sports Guy"... Endless fun, thank you Katrina.

As far as natural disasters go, I think that I am most afraid of earthquakes. Being swallowed by the earth is pretty low on my list of shit to do. Bridges collapsing, buildings falling... yeah that blows pretty bad. A close 2nd would have to be a tornado, because being thrown a mile into the air sucks too. The good thing is that I don't own a double wide, so I think that I 100% am not going to be having a problem with a twister anytime soon. Volcanoes would be rough to live around, but why don't those people just move? Don't bitch to me when lava shitcans your house... deal with it, you live next to a volcano.

In closing, I received this picture the other day. What a great country we live in.

Well here we all are, waiting anxiously for a new JO Palace posting... unfortunately there was a tragic server crash a week or so ago. Some say that New Orleans was a disaster, but I feel it pales in comparison to the heartache that I felt the Monday that I noticed the Palace had crashed.
Just as a Phoenix rises from its ashes, we must pull together and push on. That is what the Gert Jonnys would have done if their yellow tour van / child molesting mobile broke down on their way to a packed house in Olsow.
Keep your eyes open for postings tomorrow and more silliness to come within the next few days. As sure as Ike would hand down beat'ns on Tina Turner, this site will be back with a bang.

Server crash.....blah, blah, blah..........back-up corrupted.....blah,blah,blah.............database lost...........Why do all the bad things seem to happen to all the good blogs, why God, why????